


Silver Lining

by Music_Boxx



Series: Breathless [2]
Category: Impractical Jokers, the tenderloins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5347736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Music_Boxx/pseuds/Music_Boxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BREATHLESS BOOK 2</p><p>Troubles and tribulations test the life Addie and Brian have built together, pushing their love, trust, and marriage to the limit. Will they overcome these trials, or let their once happy life be destroyed? Will they find their Silver Lining?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Morning Dew and Stray Teardrops

Starlight danced above my eyes as dew soaked through my shirt, a soft bundle curled up on my chest that rose and fell with gentle breathes. The sun was just starting to rise and the air noticeably rose several degrees as it did so. November had been harsh this year, ice freezing the leaves nearly every night, only to be thawed in the morning. December was just around the corner, yet the autumn air still held on with chilly claws, not yet willing to give up its hold on the world. I felt like I should be getting up at this moment, but the soft bundle sleeping on me was so peaceful and relaxed, I would feel guilty for urging it to move. The creature chirped softly, raising its head as I let out a deep breath. Its eyes were still glossy with sleep, but they held a sort of warmth that could only be shown by a pet.

                “What are you doing out here?” A husky voice called, echoing through the early morning air.

                “He wouldn’t stop whining until I let him out. I kinda fell asleep,” I answered, not having to look to realize it was Brian’s hands that had come to brush against my face. His touch was gentle, like I was a fragile porcelain doll that could shatter at even the touch of a breeze. The tone grew heavy and serious, and I knew exactly what he was thinking at this moment. Much to the displeasure of the long haired cat resting on my chest, I sat up and turned to him, seeing his eyes glisten with the threat of tears.

                “It wasn’t your fault, Brian,” I said, my voice barely audible over the late autumn breeze.

                “I should have done something. I should have known, Addie!” Brian sobbed, his hands tearing through his hair as he collapsed to the ground, shoulders shaking violently as sobs ran through his body. Sharp pains budded in my chest, feeling like small daggers piercing my heart, one, by one, by one.

                The large gray and white cat, Zach, sat in the dew covered morning grass and watched us with an eerie sense of understanding, his awareness of our pain reflected in his quick trot over to our slumped bodies. He purred loudly, nuzzling up against Brian with an instinctive sense of nurturing that seemed to ease the crippling pain that held onto Brian.

                “Hey, buddy. Did I scare you?” He whispered, gently scratching Zach’s ears, much to the cat’s delight. “I’m sorry about that, bud,” Brian continued, the tears that littered his face slowly drying as he calmed down.

                “Come on, babe, let’s get out of the cold,” I murmured, my hands grazing over his arms as I guided him up onto his feet. I led him back inside our Staten Island home, Zach eagerly trotting after us before I shut the door.

                The heat engulfed our bodies instantly, and I felt myself begin to ease up as the chill was chased away from my bones. Brian stood numbly in the center of the kitchen, his arms hanging loosely at his side as he stared ahead into the living room, and though he was no longer crying, I could feel his pain as if it were my own. Though I, too, had my fair share of grief, Brian seemed to be taking it the hardest. He felt a terrible amount of guilt, as if the incident was his fault. I had tried to convince him numerous times that it was inevitable, but he seemed determined to believe that he was to blame.

                “Brian,” I breathed, slowly making my way over to him and wrapping my arms around his torso. “We can try again, okay? I promise, this time will be different,” I mumbled, hoping he would agree.

                “I know, Addie…” He started, but I felt like there was more to his words than I knew, “But I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

                I sighed, but I understood his hesitation, feeling the same fear that he was probably feeling right now. What if it happened again? What if we could never start a family of our own? Would Brian be willing to adopt? Or would he just leave me if I couldn’t have children?

                “Promise me something, Addie,” The words tore me out of my thoughts and forcing me back into the ever so depressing reality that faced me.

                “Anything, Brian,” I muttered, taking in the scent of his cologne as an unsteady breath tore through his body.

                “Promise me you’ll never leave.”

 

**

 

                “You ready for this?” Gary spoke through the microphone, receiving four silent nods in response. He gave the thumbs up, and the recording light flicked on. I took a deep breath, nodding to Sophia as she began to strum at the guitar.

 

_Pour me, pour me, pour me another,_

_It holds me, holds me,_

_Like no other,_

_One more drink, then I swear that I'm going home,_

_Truth is, I don't really have a place to go,_

_So pour me, pour me, pour me another._

_I wake up right about the mid-afternoon,_

_With the sun in the sky but night's coming soon,_

_And I walk to the mirror just to fix myself,_

_Yeah life gets harder when you love nothing else,_

_So I pick my pills from the counter drawer,_

_Pick my self-esteem up off the fucking floor,_

_I guess I'm a man of no recourse,_

_As I crack another bottle, got no remorse,_

_And I'll say a little prayer for the child in me,_

_I swear I used to be what I truly believe,_

_That I'm not just a man with these broken dreams,_

_That even I could go to heaven,_

_If I part the seas_

_So..._

_Pour me, pour me, pour me another,_

_It holds me, holds me,_

_Like no other,_

_One more drink, then I swear that I'm going home,_

_Truth is, I don't really have a place to go,_

_So pour me, pour me, pour me another._

_People get sickened to watch you bleed,_

_When you fell from the top, boy you better believe,_

_At the bottom, they got just, yeah, just what you need,_

_Well at the bottom, you can't swim 'cause you drank up the sea,_

_Then we stop and we look up to the sky,_

_They don't ask any questions, they ask us why?_

_Don't have any answers, don't know what to say,_

_Our knees are getting tired,_

_Too tired to pray,_

_That's when we laid down the end of the road,_

_We all seem to walk and I guess I walked it alone,_

_And I'm not just a man with these broken dreams,_

_Even I could go to heaven,_

_If I part the sea_

_Pour me, pour me, pour me another,_

_It holds me, holds me,_

_Like no other,_

_One more drink, then I swear that I'm going home,_

_Truth is, I don't really have a place to go,_

_So pour me, pour me, pour me another._

_Time just seems to go on and on,_

_On and on,_

_And on and on,_

_Life inside a bottle all alone,_

_All alone,_

_The bottles gone,_

_I'm not just a man with these broken dreams,_

_Even I could go to heaven,_

_If I part the sea_

_What's life inside a bottle if it's gone?_

_One more song and I'm finally free,_

_I'll meet you here in heaven, between the sea,_

_'Cause I'm not just a man with these broken dreams,_

_Even I could go to heaven,_

_If I part the sea_

_So..._

_Pour me, pour me, pour me another,_

_It holds me, holds me,_

_Like no other,_

_One more drink, then I swear that I'm going home,_

_Truth is, I don't really have a place to go,_

_So pour me, pour me, pour me another._

_Pour me, pour me, pour me, pour me,_

_Pour me another,_

_Pour me, pour me, pour me, pour me,_

_Pour me another._

I looked up to see a delighted look on Gary’s face as the recording light flicked off. “How’d we do?” I asked, though the question was completely unnecessary by the incredible grin on his face.

               

“That….was….phenomenal!” He called out, only aware of how loud he was by the pained expressions on everyone’s faces. “Sorry,” He muttered sheepishly, pushing up from his seat and pulling the door open for us. I turned away from the others for a moment, swiping a hand over my cheeks to dry the tears that strayed down my cheeks.

 

“Addie, love, are you okay?” Sophia asked, resting a tentative hand on my shoulder as her voice, laced deeply with a heavy Irish accent, echoed in the now empty room.

 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine,” I promised, turning to face her with a forced grin tainting my lips. “That song always gets me emotional,” I joked, pushing the topic aside as we stepped out of the room.

 

“Are you sure?” She asked, clearly not taking the hint. Though I appreciated her gesture, I was digging my nails into my palms as she spoke.

 

“So,” I trailed off, desperate for something new to talk about. “How are things with you and Murr?” I asked, watching as her expression shifted from worry to absolute bliss. The rest of the way to the lounge was spent talking about the four month long relationship, the troubles, the triumphs, and apparently, the _absolutely amazing sex._ I rolled my eyes as she said that, pretending to gag as I opened the door.

 

“See ya later, doll,” She called, waving to me as I walked to my car. I waved back, getting into my car and starting it up, grateful for the rush of warmth that came from the heaters.

 

I pulled out of my parking space and left the parking lot, leaving the recording studio behind as I drove towards home. Rain dripped from the sky, coating my window and making the street slick. I slowed my speed and put on the wipers, horrible flashbacks of the accident last winter that left me comatose for weeks and my face, though now healed, horribly damaged.

 

Before long I pulled into my driveway, darting out of the car and to the front door and forcing the key into the lock as I struggled to get out of the rain. I stumbled inside and shoved the door shut, tearing my soaking wet clothes off and making my way to the laundry room.

 

“How raunchy,” A voice spoke from behind, sending shivers up and down my spine, “Had I known this is what I’d see when I came home, I would have cleaned up a bit.”

 

“Dammit Brian, my clothes were wet,” I retorted, throwing the wet garments into the washing machine before turning around to give my husband a mockingly bitter look. I watched his eyes trail down the right side of my body, covered in scars from the accident. I turned and stalked off, feeling panic bubble up in my chest as I relived the accident, or at least, what I could remember.

 

“Addie, I’m sorry!” Brian called, but I could barely hear him over the sound of my hyperventilating.

 

I slammed the door of the bathroom shut and dropped down to the floor, leaning against the hardwood door. I heard a soft shuffling, which I assumed to be Brian sliding down the other side of the door. He didn’t say anything for a long time, and neither did I, but the silence began to calm me, and my breathing grew slower and more regular as the minutes slowly passed.

 

“I’m so sorry,” We both said, forcing a chuckle to break the otherwise silence.

 

I stood up and opened the door, causing Brian to jump up and throw his arms around me. I hugged him back, burying my face in his chest and engulfing myself in his scent, mint and spice that made me absolutely giddy. He pulled away from me with a gentle grin on his face, taking my hand and leading me upstairs. He carefully picked me up as we entered our room and set me on the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin and placing a soft kiss on the tip of my nose before stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed beside me. Brian pulled me against his warm body, my face pressed against his now bare chest.

 

There was no other way to describe this feeling than absolute bliss.

 

This….

 

This was my silver lining.

               


	2. Forever and Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER OML.

                My breaths were deep and slow, taking in the almost tangible scent of early morning air. The weather was warm and welcoming as a breeze floated in through the window, almost as if to greet me as I awoke. Zach was tucked into a tight ball on my stomach, his own sides rising and falling with mine. Brian was snoring loudly beside me, one arm sprawled over my chest as the other dangled loosely off the bed. I cracked open one eye, wincing as the light hit me instantly, and turned to check the bedside clock beside me. I lurched up, cringing when claws dug into my gut as Zach was thrown off. I had almost forgotten I had to go into the studio today, the thought only registering when I realized I only had ten minutes to get there.

                Footsteps tore through the house as I sprinted from room to room, trying to get my things in order before I left. Zach was underneath my feet the whole time, and though I shouldn’t be surprised, Brian slept through the entire ordeal.

                I nearly slipped down the wooden steps while sprinting down, only caught by the railing that had saved me many times during drunken ordeals, and I silently thanked the object for saving my ass once again, literally.

                After pulling my shoes on and one of my favorite I Prevail hoodies, I ran to the kitchen to write Brian a note for when he woke up.

 

                _Good morning, love!_

_I’ve already left for work, but I’m sure you can manage without me for a little while. ;) There’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re home today._

_See you tonight,_

_Addie_

                I let the note rest against a small ornament sitting on our table, turning to see a displeasured Zach sitting in front of me. I could read his expression of clear disapproval, knowing that I wasn’t going to be home soon enough to feed him breakfast. A loud groan of exasperation filled the air as I snatched his bowl from the floor and ran to the cupboard that held his food.

                After scooping a cupful of dry cat food into his bowl, I set it back down on the floor and gave him a quick scratch between his ears before running through the front door. I jogged down to my car and nearly threw myself inside, starting it up and tearing out of the driveway.

                I checked the time on the dashboard, revealing to me that I had all of five minutes to get to the studio. Letting out the sigh that I had been holding in all morning, I cranked on the radio to fill the silence that engulfed my car. Singing along to the songs, I pulled into the parking lot of the studio and hopped inside just as Gary was walking in.

                “Turning up late again, are we? Maybe I should find a new singer,” Gary teased, pulling the door open for me as I slipped inside.

                “Well in that case, maybe I should find a new manager if he’s as late as I am,” I shot back, giving him the shit eating grin that I knew he hated, but could never stay angry with.

                We walked into the recording room together to see the rest of the band already there, tuning and goofing off around a box of doughnuts. I hurtled myself over to it, staring at the pastries with an animalistic desire. My mouth watered as I gazed longingly at them, stomach growling as if to urge me to dive right in. I looked at Sophie with a pleading look, seeing a grin light up her face as she nodded, wordlessly saying _‘go for it.’_

                Well, she didn’t need to tell me twice.

 

**

 

                It had been a long day at the studio, albeit successful, having just finished the last recording for our very first official album. We spent the rest of the work day celebrating and goofing off over the leftover doughnuts and Chinese food Gary had ordered for us.

                After the day was over, we said all our goodbyes as each went to their own car and left for the night, leaving me to sit in my car with only my thoughts to keep me company. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the steering wheel, feeling the depression that I had been suppressing all day creep up and pull me into the darkness. My shoulders shook with violent sobs as I rocked back in forth, my body wrecked with shivers from the night air creeping in. I was pulled from my self pitying for a moment to wonder why it was so cold, and after pulling my head away from the wheel, I noticed for the first time that I had left the window open. I jammed the key in the ignition and twisted it, cranking up the windows before brushing the tears from my undoubtedly red, patchy cheeks.

                Driving through the empty streets, I felt an uneasiness creep through my bones and send shivers down my spine. I gripped the wheel tighter, my knuckles turning white as I sped up ever so slightly. I checked the rearview mirror and saw that no one was behind me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me, somewhere off in the darkness.

                I got home unscathed, but relief didn’t wash upon me until I was safely behind my front door, now facing an exhausted looking Brian.

                “Where have you been all day?” He asked coldly, his arms crossed over his chest.

                “I was at work. I wrote you a note, didn’t you see it?” I asked, the nerves returning and shaking me to the core. What was wrong with Brian? Why was he acting this way?  
                “Yeah, I saw it. Why were you gone so long?” He returned, his words clipped and sharp. His dark eyes, usually warm and welcoming, were hostile and judgmental, as if each word I spoke was only fueling his anger. “You aren’t normally gone that long. What were you doing, out fuckin’ some other guy?” He spat, taking a step closer as he let his fists fall to his side.

                “Babe, what are you talking about?” I breathed, terror stealing my voice away as he loomed over me, a tower of solid mass that could easily tear me down.

                “Don’t ‘babe’ me! I know you’re just going to leave me for some other guy just like she did!” Brian shouted, pounding his fists into the door behind me, trapping my shaking form in a cage of his body. I could feel the waves of heat pouring off of him, a usually comforting sign now turned sinister.

                “Brian, I would never leave you. You’re all I have,” I whispered back, tentatively trailing my fingers along the side of his jaw, watching as his rage dissolved into despair.

                “Please don’t leave me, Addie,” He begged, clinging onto me like a lost child. I shushed him gently, reassuring him that I would never even think of it as I cradled him in my arms. Time slipped by, though neither one of us made a move to get up, and eventually, Brian’s sobs faded away into gentle snores. I pulled away from his now relaxed form and ventured upstairs to collect blankets and pillows, seeing I was too small to carry his broad form up to our room.

                Once back in the living room, I pulled the blanket over the both of us and carefully tucked a pillow underneath his head, a content sigh barely escaping his lips. I curled up beside him and pressed my body against his, relishing in the now comforting warmth that radiated from him.

“How long will you love me for?” Brian asked, seemingly out of nowhere. I jumped, thinking that he had been asleep.

“Forever and ever.”


	3. See Me Beg (XXX)

     _Maybe it was something I had done that made him worry. Is it my music? Does he think it's pulling me away from him?_ I couldn't help but worry about Brian, constantly mulling over what had set him off several weeks ago. Though those weeks went without incident, I had been walking on eggshells to assure he was happy. Along the way I knew he sensed how careful I was being, which almost seemed to upset him further. We spent several nights talking into the early hours of the morning, sometimes about nothing in particular, but most of those nights were Brian opening up about his previous relationship, all while I listened on with tears staining my cheeks. I held him as he sobbed, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, letting his emotions flood out like a storm.  
    "I'm so sorry, Babe. I never knew..." I trailed  
Off, my words seeming to escape me. What could I saw that could ever take away the pain of what had been done to him; though that were true, I held him closer than ever, shaking and fighting to bring air into my lungs. I was supposed to stay strong for him, but I couldn't bear the thought of my own husband suffering through such incredible pain.  
     "Addie, don't cry for me. Sure, I lost a lot, but all of it, every last tear I shed, it was all worth it if it meant I got to have you," he breathed, his breath barely skimming across my skin.  
     "But..." I started, my words catching in my throat, "just knowing that you had to go through that, it breaks my heart. You didn't deserve that, Brian." I shook my head sadly, getting up and holding my hand out to help him to his feet.  
     I led him over to the sofa and sat him down, my frown transforming into a silly grin.  
     "Movie and pizza night?" I asked.  
     "Movie and pizza night." He agreed.

\--

     The credits scrolled along the television screen, leaving my eyes crossed uncomfortably as I tried to read them all. Brian was sprawled out on the couch, snoring loud enough to wake the dead. A chuckle bubbled in my chest as drool started to creep out of the corner of his mouth. So focused on Brian, I barely noticed the pounding on the door until I heard the chatter following it.  
      _What the hell?_ I wondered, peeling myself off the couch and to the door. I immediately regretted opening it, as Joe, Murr, and Sal pushed their way in, chirping cheery greetings as they entered. I was about to protest, but quickly swallowed my words as I saw the twinkle of mischief in Joes eyes.  
     "Shhhhhh" Joe instructed, slipping into the kitchen and returning a heartbeat later with a can of whipped cream.  
     I nodded furiously, pulling out my phone and opening the camera while Joe piled the whipped cream into Brian's hand. After that, Murr started tickling Brian's nose.  
     Still sleeping, Brian swatted at his face, the whipped cream smearing all over his face. I snapped pictures before the three friends bolted out of the door.  
     "What the HELL?!" Brian shouted, rolling off of the couch and onto the floor with a thud. "Addie, was this you?" He asked, his voice bordering on mischievous.  
     "What? No way! Your dumbass friends burst in here and do that and run off for me to take the blame!" I defended myself, though my tone wavered between defensive and devious as I imagined how /exactly/ Brian was going to get that stuff off his face.  
     He must have read my thoughts, as he started to stride forward, a hungry, untamed look in his near black eyes. He tugged at the hem of my shirt, a low growl escaping from his throat as he stripped me of my shirt.  
     I smirked, standing on my toes to lick the whipped cream off his face, deepening the dark hunger in his eyes as well as rousing a chuckle that shook his shoulders. I nipped on his bottom lip as my body pushed against his, feeling a growing bulge in his pants.  
     Brian picked me up and hauled me upstairs, slamming me down on the bed with a grunt.  
     In a single moment Brian had stripped down to his boxers, tossing his clothes aside and slipping his body on top of mine. He slid downward slowly, unbuttoning my jeans and grabbing the zipper between his teeth. He tugged it down slowly, almost painfully slow, all while holding eye contact.  
     I groaned and bucked my hips, urging him to go faster. He smirked smugly and tugged my pants and panties down, adjusting himself so he was brushing ever so slightly against my entrance.  
    "Baby, please," I breathed, my voice barely above a whimper. "Or do you just want to see me beg?"  
    The pleading seemed to fuel his ego, as he puffed out his chest and easily guided himself into me. I let out a heavy moan, pleasure making my body shake as he furiously pounded inside of me, grunts of pure animalistic satisfaction made his chest heave.  
     "Oh my god, Brian, I'm gonna...." I gasped, bunching the sheets in my fists, my abdomen tightening as I was brought closer to the edge, and I could tell by the look on his face that he was close, too.  
     With another powerful thrust, Brian let out a loud groan, his movements growing slower as we both came down from our highs.  
     He fell onto the bed beside me, his hand tangling through my hair as he pet me.  
     "God, I love you," he mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut.  
     "I love you too," I sighed contentedly.

\--

     The band and I sat impatiently on the tour bus, chattering and gazing out the window as we drove toward home. We had finally reached the end of our second US tour, and as the excitement started to die down, we all realized how exhausted we were.  
     We pulled into the parking lot of the recording studio and came to a halt, the dim rays of twilight peeking through closed curtains. I had just woken up, and I felt a disgusting churning in my gut that drove me to the bathroom. I threw myself into the small tour bus bathroom and slammed the door just as all of the contents of my stomach came rushing up all at once.  
    "Addie, you in here?" I heard Gary calling, and shortly he pulled the restroom door open, wincing at the sight of me hunched over the toilet.  
     "Shit, Addie, are you okay?" He asked, more out of courtesy, since it was clear I wasn't actually okay.  
     "Gary, I think I'm pregnant."

 

A.N: RIP my innocence. But yaaayyyy finally an update. I hope this makes up for it lolol


	4. Mister Anonymous

Gary had taken the news of my suspected pregnancy better than he thought I would, going so far as to help me plan out how I was going to tell Brian. I was more than scared to break the news to him, even if he was my husband, in fear of how he would react after last time.   
"Addie? Have you listened to a word I've said?" Gary questioned, poking his pencil in my face.   
"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing away the cotton that clouded my thoughts, "Must've gotten sidetracked."   
"Clearly," the shorter man mumbled to himself, looking back down at the papers in front of him.   
I watched on as he scribbled a few notes down into the paper, only glancing up once he was done. He pushed it in my direction, beginning to explain what each section meant.   
"These are meal plans, recording days and times, exercises; everything to make this as easy as possible for you," he chirped, clearly proud of his schedule for basically the next nine months of my life. "Have you thought about when you were going to tell Brian?" He questioned, but I could tell he just wanted to tell me his idea, it was just the way he was.   
"Thanks for all this, mom," I sneered, sparking a glitter of humor in his eyes, "but no, I haven't figured out how to tell Brian yet. I'm m scared he's going to react badly after what happened last time," I confessed before I could stop myself. I had never told anyone this fear before, though I had such a close bond with Gary, I trusted he would keep this between us.   
The man I could now comfortably refer to as a friend gave a sympathetic, almost sad smile as he reached across the table and grabbed my hand, rubbing small, relaxing circles against my knuckles with his thumb. There was a small hint of worry in his features, showing that even he wasn't sure of how Brian would take the news. Neither of us were quite sure, and though it scared me that not even the man that usually had all the answers was sure of what was to come, I was comforted knowing I wasn't the only one going in blind.   
"We're going to figure it out, okay? There's nothing to worry about," he reassured me, though I'm not sure if the words had helped me the way he intended them to.   
Though I was sure it would all work out in the end, a twinge of doubt settled in my gut, making me rot from the inside out.

\--

I sat anxiously waiting at home, watching the minutes tick by as I waited for Brian to arrive home. He and the guys were in Central Park filming for their show, but it felt like they were walking around the world.   
"How long could they be?" I muttered to myself, racking my brain to try and find something to pass the time. I snatched up my phone and shot out a group text to my bandmates and Gary,

Still waiting for Brian to get home, I'm so nervous!

Several texts shot back encouraging me and cheering me on, and though I hadn't told any of them, except for Gary, they showed as much support as if they had known all along.   
As soon as I heard the door click open, my heart stopped mid beat. I turned to see Brian stepping through the door, a grim, yet humored, look on his face.   
"How was your day?" I questioned, stalling for time.   
Gary: Stop stalling, just do it!  
I saw the message and wondered how exactly he knew I was stalling, but pushed that aside for another day.   
"Brian, I have something to tell you," I started, feeling my heart catch in my throat as I saw him turn with a look of nervous curiosity. "I'm, uh, I'm pregnant," I mumbled, feeling the terror shoot through my body.   
"Addie...that's fantastic!" Brian gasped, running over and wrapping me in a massive bear hug. "Oh baby, I'm so happy!" He giggled, as giddy as a child in a candy store.   
I chuckled loudly as he picked me up and twirled me around, planting sloppy kisses on my face and neck.   
"Brian, I promise. This time will be different."

\--

Recording and concerts had been put off as my pregnancy progressed, and though it left me anxious and antsy, I appreciated the time given to me to focus on myself. I sat on the floor stretching out my sore back when the door opened unexpectedly. Gary walked in and sat down beside me on the floor, chuckling when Zachary came and curled up on his lap.   
"How is baby Quinn treating you?" He asked cheerily, scratching behind Zachs ears as he watched me.   
"Let's just say he takes after his father," I grumbled, though I looked down at my growing stomach affectionately.   
"And we all know how well his father gets through life," Gary sneered, his good hearted jab clearly amusing him more than it should have. I rolled my eyes and continued to stretch, listening as Gary cooed to Zach.   
The door opened once again and Brian walked through the door, traipsing up behind me and running his hands through my hair. "How's my baby girl?" He purred, letting his hands fall to my shoulders.   
My face was aflame as Brian continued to massage my shoulders, his words warm and sweet like caramel. "Not now, Brian," I muttered, flustered and more than a little embarrassed about Gary being witness to the ordeal.   
"So, uh, I wanted to come and tell you the band wanted to hold a small party for you," Gary started, his voice lowering, "but if you have something else to do..." He trailed, earning a hard shove from both me and Brian that sent Zach darting into the kitchen.   
"Thank you Gary, this means a lot," my tone gentle and grateful.   
"Don't thank me, it wasn't my idea. Thank Mister Anonymous."


	5. Crazy Mess of a World

The party came and went in a pleasant blur, and I haven't heard another word uttered about Mister Anonymous. Hours of searching and pondering, and I came up with nothing. Whoever this guy was, he didn't want to be found. I couldn't imagine why, as he had done me a great service in throwing a party that I could have never afforded, but after time I had respected his blatant wishes of remaining unknown and gave up my search.

I sat gazing at my now rounded belly, realizing how close I was to giving birth. Eight months, twenty three days, and seventeen hours. Forcing back the lump in my throat, I glanced up as I heard my name being called out, getting dunked back into the reality I was sitting in. I was in the doctors office, waiting for a regular checkup on the baby. I felt healthy, but nerves kicked in as horrible memories surfaced, and I remembered just what happened last time I was this close to giving birth. What if it happened again? What would it mean for me and Brian? I couldn't stop the anxieties that plagued me from taking over as I shivered nervously, the white walls of the clinic closing in on me. Darkness started to creep into my vision, and it wasn't until I felt a strong hand on my shoulder that I began to relax. Brian sat beside me, a warm gaze in his chocolate eyes, and that was all I needed to push away the terror in my mind.

"Mr and Mrs Quinn?" A soft voice greeted, and a young man stepped through the door and into the room. He was short, and though he gave off a strong presence, he seemed intimidated by Brian's broad appearance. "My name is Doctor Terrell I'm your regular doctors assistant, and I'll be performing the exam on you today," He began, his eyes darting all over the room, "If that's okay with you, of course."

"Do your thing, Doctor," I grinned, doing my best to give off an air of reassurance in an attempt to comfort the skittish doctor.

He let out a sigh of relief as he continued on with the exam, his hands deft and gentle as he set up the ultrasound. Moving the wand across my stomach, he gazed fondly at the small figure on the screen, and for a moment, I thought I caught a glimpse of love in his eyes, brushed away only when he noticed me staring. I turned my head towards Brian, only to see his eyes darting between me and the doctors, a look of confusion painted across his face. I tried to get his attention, but he was so focused on whatever he was thinking about that he didn't notice me staring at him.

"Well, Mrs. Quinn, you're well on your way to a healthy and happy baby," Doctor Terrell announced, a light grin lighting up his soft expression.

Brian and I grinned and chattered softly as Doctor Terrell rubbed away at the gel on my stomach and proceeded to dismiss us, and as I looked to see if he was following, I caught him standing behind in the room, staring at me, his face haunted, but the look in his eyes unmistakable. Longing.

**

I sprinted into the house, barely containing my excitement as I let out a squeal of joy. Brian slipped in silently behind me and wrapped his hands around my growing midsection, resting his warm hands against my stomach, head cradled in my neck. He left a trail of small kisses from my shoulder to my jaw, sending shivers up and down my spine as he began to nibble on my earlobe. A blush dared to spread across my cheeks, though despite the warmth that was radiating all over my body, goosebumps rose up from my skin. The moment, despite how pleasurable it was, was soon interrupted by the shrill ringing of a phone.

"Is that yours?" Brian mumbled, his lips still exploring my exposed skin. I nodded disappointedly and shuffled across the living room to pick up my cell phone, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I mumbled, and I almost began to wonder if whoever was on the other end heard me when the silence stretched on for several moments.

"Did you forget you're going on tour next month?" The voice, now revealed to be Gary, hissed from the other end. "Do you have any idea what this will do to your tour?" my manager nagged, and I could almost see his face scrunching up.

I stayed silent for several seconds, baffled at how blatantly thoughtless he was. I simply could not believe how little he cared about this monumental moment in my life. "Do you really not care that I'll finally be having a child with my husband?" I asked, though to my despair, I was sure I already knew the answer.

"Yeah, congrats, but this couldn't have come at a worse time," He spat, the venom stinging me even over the phone. "Look, go have your kid, then just call me when you're ready to take this career seriously," Gary retorted, hanging up the phone before I could even take another breath.

A sigh of exhaustion escaped my lungs, and as I turned to look at Brian, his face told me that he had heard it all. He covered the room in large strides, wrapping me in his warm embrace, and I relaxed as all of the anxieties that had been burdening me melted away at his touch. In that moment, I didn't care about what Gary had just said, or what would happen to the band when the tour was rescheduled, or what the look Doctor Terrell gave me meant. All I cared about was right in front of me, keeping me grounded in this crazy mess of a world.

 

(AN: Omg omg omg I'm sorry it took so long but I dearly hope it was worth the wait. I'm really hoping I can get back to a regular updating schedule but my life has been SUCH a mess right now. ;~; Anyway, enjoy, my lovelies~~)


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